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"Sexual Fluidity"
February 12th, 2010.
Just
read two texts in your zine about sexual fluidity. Starting with Don
Bellew's story. Both good. Both "preaching" open-mindedness
in the "question" of sexual "orientation". The
one with the story-tellers approach, the other in the scientific
mode. Both right on.
Once
upon a long ago I bought a dime-novel in Dutch translation (I live in
Holland), but I'm sure it was originally written in English. Both the
title and the author's name have long been deleted from my feeble
memory, but not the plot. Nor my thoughts about it.
Unfortunately
I threw the book away in one of my vain attempts to "cure"
myself of my homosexual tendency and to get back on the "straight
trail to hetero happiness and marital bliss". All to no avail,
of course.
Anyway,
the plot in brief:
Man
A meets, falls in love with, has sex with and moves in with Man B.
(Man A is on the rebound after disappointing split-up from
relationship with Woman C.) B is uptight about homosexuality thing,
breaks off relationship with A, meets and begins relationship with C.
C, although she comes to love B, does so partly because he so
resembles A, whom she still misses. Later C and A hook up again and
leave B out in the cold. End of story.
So
called "happy end", because "normal" hetero life
re-established.
In
my opinion the only good and happy ending would have been a ménage
à trois
(3-way-houshold). But alas. Anyone recognize story? Anyone got a
copy of it not destroyed for being a. evil b. substandard literature
c. uninteresting. Me, I still like to fantasise on how the book
should have ended and how I'd like my life to be / have been.
Wolf
Bayne
See the articles to which this letter refers: Male Sexual Fluidity and Male Sexual Fluidity, a
Memoir
(If anybody knows the name of the story to which Wolf refers, write to us here at Wilde Oats -- Eds.) |
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“Skimpy Sexism”
April 10th, 2009
I see the preference for trunks to
Speedos as a question of fashion. I was once barred from entering a
pool in Japan because I was wearing trunks. Women, however, had to
wear one-piece suits. Now I always pack both kinds of swimwear when
I travel.
No Speedos in a family hotel? Does
that make swim meets unsuitable events for families?
Athletes wear Speedos and shave their
bodies for hydrodynamic reasons. Trunks slow you down; they cling to
your thighs and balloon up over your butt. They’re great for
wading and splashing around, but get in the way of serious swimming.
(Whenever possible I swim in the raw, although a Speedo would be more
hydrodynamic. But I don’t shave either.)
The idea that Speedos are too revealing
is an after-the-fact rationalization invented by people with prurient
minds. Since they ogle women in bikinis, men who wear Speedos must
also put them on to be ogled. They should open their eyes as well as
their minds. The front bulge on a Speedo may be suggestive, but
dripping wet trunks clinging to a man’s cock and balls leave less
to the imagination.
Anel Viz
(See original article)
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"Skimpy Sexism"
August 4th, 2009
Editors:
It’s a wonder to me that this sort
of prudery has re-emerged so soon after a generation (and a long one at that)
of generally very skimpy swimwear for both sexes, if
swimwear was worn at all. As an early Baby Boomer, I grew up with
communal nudity for males of all ages – we swam nude at the YMCA and rinsed off
the chlorine in communal showers, we swam nude in the school pool, we showered
after physical education class in large multi-tap shower rooms, and no one
thought about it: it was just the way things were done among men. At the
same time, women’s and men’s swimwear for mixed public bathing was
getting smaller and smaller, to the point that both sexes basically wore what
could only be classified as a cache sexe, barely
large enough to cover the genitals, if they wore
anything. The incidence of rape and other crimes of forced sexual acts
did not rise in response to the increasing amounts of bare skin on view.
For some reason, our sons, and
their sons, seem to find such exposure difficult, humiliating, and
dangerous. Or so I surmise from what I’ve observed at my gym and various
pools and beaches in just the last twenty years. It amuses me to see a
man in his early forties doing the towel dance in a locker room, wriggling and
gyrating under a no more than adequate gym towel to get his midsection covered,
often from waist to knee, but it disgusts me to see that same fellow or men
younger showering in their underwear (if they shower at
all) after a workout. Young men these days seem to think nothing of getting
completely covered in sweat and then just blotting it off, often with their
T-shirt, slapping on some cologne or a fresh application of deodorant, and
sallying forth to spread their stale funk on the unsuspecting public.
They are dragging us back to Victorian times and Victorian “morals”.
And there is definitely a
generational divide. At my last gym, men’s and women’s facilities,
including wet areas, were completely separate and nudity in the pools, steam
room, and showers on the men’s side was expected. Who actually used those
areas nude, however? Only the men who were 50 years old
or older. The habit crossed racial lines – we had members of every race,
and aged from 18 to 80, and it was the comparatively younger men, of all races,
who did the towel dance, and the youngest men, of all races, who didn’t shower
or expose themselves at all, whereas those of us over 50 stripped quite
casually and swam, soaked, steamed or showered in naked comfort and without
embarrassment.
Meanwhile, the various Miss
Something pageants are trumpeted as “family” entertainment even though the
contestants parade in blush-makingly skimpy bathing suits and dominatrix-height
heels which only serve to force their bodies into an
eroticized posture of submissive availability with the breasts and buttocks
thrust unnaturally out of healthy alignment. No one thinks anything of
it, because the contestants are female – and leaving aside the demonstrated
lack of brainpower that has come to dominate such contests (who has not seen
one of the contestants interviewed in these days of instant internet
communication?), what really are these women doing besides displaying
themselves as sex objects?
Men on the other hand . . .
When I hear of someone “swimming” in T-shirt and board shorts, it confounds
me. I can’t imagine any costume less calculated to provide hydrodynamic
ease or physical comfort. And the younger generation provides other forms
of visible internal conflict. It’s quite the fashion nowadays for them to
build up their bodies, develop muscles beyond what a body naturally develops,
run miles every day, and generally show off their athletic prowess. Then,
in order to display their hyperdevelopment even more, they strip the hair off
their bodies and limbs, leaving themselves as smooth as prepubescents, and
compensating for their lack of body hair with endlessly inventive (and
endlessly troublesome to maintain) forms of half-beards and goatees. But
we dare not view them as sexual beings. Heavens, no! Having developed
fashionably attractive bodies, they have also cultivated without seeming to be
aware of it a form of coyness distinctly at odds with their program of physical
improvement, resulting in the towel dance, “shorts” that end at mid-calf, and
“T-shirts” with three-quarter length sleeves. Why men nowadays object to
being regarded as sex objects, or as objects of desire, or even to showing
enough to be seen as generally attractive is, as I said at the beginning,
beyond my comprehension.
But it’s a damn shame.
Yours truly,
Richard Small
(See original article)
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